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Knowing that he’s willing to give and take will show that he’s more serious about getting to know who I am.”-Alicia, 30, Philadelphia“I don’t learn all that much about Brad, but he seems cautiously optimistic and interested. A.“I think this is a good format for an introductory email, but this one is bland.Saying you enjoy theater and wine is nothing to build a relationship on.A friend who uses it tells me: “It’s good if you’re picky…but there aren’t a lot of people on it.” Cost: Free I can’t really make a list of the best dating sites without mentioning Tinder. Tinder once had a reputation for being a ‘shagging app’ - but that's changed. Then our panel of experts and peers weighed in with their opinions. S.: Some of these emails were successful, some weren’t... ) So embarrassing, I just knocked my coffee all over the place cause my cell phone was ringing and I was trying to type and grab it at the same time. A woman who reads Nabokov (I just finished Lolita), likes Al Green and is really attractive as well? After all, what you write will directly impact that person’s impression of you—and whether they write back. To help answer that very question, we got five online daters to submit emails they’d sent to objects of their affection.Before you join, the app has to approve you as a member (a slightly daunting process) or you have to be invited.If you want to unlock certain features you either have to pay or invite other to join.

Cost: Free Unlike Tinder, Hinge doesn’t let you swipe through an unlimited number of potential matches.

That way, she’ll know that when they’re sharing a bottle of wine after a show, they’ll be engaged in a lively discussion. Your words about supportiveness struck a chord, as did some of the other things you wrote.

Real-life result: Brad estimates a 30-40% response rate to this kind of email. I’m 36 and am a freelance writer covering mainly health, psychology, nonprofit management and, lately, nanotechnology.

ou’ve spotted a profile online you’re smitten with. I’m afraid that if it turns out to not be true, I might wind up in the middle of the Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble curled up in a ball weeping and muttering something about attractive women and the lies they tell, covered in all of Nabokov’s work.

I hope it is—the little man who runs my brain has taken over and made me send you a note.